adventure

***RANT alert!!*****

But certainly, it has not been a pastor's preaching, nor the sermonizing of anyone else that's brought us here. It was the Spirit Himself who instilled these convictions _for me to be home with our kids, and for us to homeschool_ in my dh and I, even as most of our Christian, church-going friends, as well as non-Christian friends, were working outside their homes at the time, and I did even end up babysitting for them for a few years... This was when my kids were young, before I knew any other homeschoolers. When we did meet a homeschooling family for the first time, shortly after our oldest was born, I was relieved to know that such a thing *really* was/is doable, and to see their teens thriving in their home atmosphere/schooling ... I was so relieved to know that we need not send our little one off at the tender age of 5 to a "public socialistic indoctrination center" as my dh so fondly calls schools. I quit my job (as the church secretary at the time, though our *pastor* even wanted me to stay on and keep our ds in the church daycare!) and went home, never looking back (well, except for one financially faltering episode when I did grudgingly take a night job-so as not to put ds in daycare- at the local hospital as an ekg tech., and then as a sleep lab tech. working nights, until realizing that wasn't working too well -at all!), and the Lord reminded me, through a dear older sister inHim, to put as much time and energy into getting on my face before God, praying for dh's work, as I did in working myself outside the home, TRUST HIM, and I would see Him intervene, which He did/has! _which is another story for another time!_ Well, as my friends began to see the spiritual blessings our family was enjoying from my decision to stay home (not only financial, but togetherness), they began to open up to us and share their true feelings too. One friend, whome I babysat for, was so sad all the time, and felt so bad leaving her newborn babe with me every week day, instead of being able to stay home with him. She used to joke that "with all the hours I spend helping my dd's with their homework each night, I *could* be homeschooling for that matter!" Another family, dear friends of ours, even sat at our dining room table, and adimantly proclaimed though she'd enjoy staying home they'd "never homeschool!" b/c it just "isn't for us" and yet now, years later, they are both homeschooling zealots, converted by their own dd's needs and recommendations of her public school teacher's even, that they intervene lest she "fall through the cracks". And though they started down the path for "academic" reasons, they now continue b/c of spiritual and so many other convictions as well. Now we just laugh at the memory together. But many of my working Mommy friends have cofided in me over the years their true desires to be at home, and their deep disappointment and despair at having to go to work each day. Even now, after 3 interstate moves, and many new friends later, I'm still personally hearing the same sentiments from Mothers who for various reasons (usually pressure from husband, or self-inflicted even, feeling they're *supposed to* work, debt, or paying for private school) work outside their homes....they'd rather be home! YET, *none* of my SAHM friends wish they could go work outside their home...hmmmmm...And recently, a new church acquaintance who's considering quitting her teaching job, and pulling her kids out of private school to homeschool them, is apprehensive about jumping in, afraid of her kids' leaving the private school (has even convinced herself that she's supporting a valiant cause by having her kids enrolled at this private school, which is apparently struggling financially). So, as she vocally wrestles with herself over these decisions, which apparently her dh has relinquished to her, I just listen...well aware that the Lord is further challenging her through my very witness being an encouragement to her...and thankful to be a sounding board. I'm seeing and hearing from alot of Moms tired of being torn between work and home...tired of their efforts to disciple their kids being constantly undermined when their kids are at school, their husbands not sharing their vision to get them at home, or not being willing/able to take the cut in household income...but so far, they're all pretty much in the same boat, ie; putting on a happy face and making the best of a situation they'd honestly prefer to change, but so often do feel hopeless in, or alone. None of them so far are finding much fulfillment or satisfaction in their employment when they get down to bare-bones honesty. Sure, there are"redeeming aspects" of their jobs which for sanity's sake they do (I did)cling to, desperately trying to console themselves for time spent away from home and family, that they may consider it well-spent...that's human nature, to cope. And sure, the old feminist in me did even relish the independence I felt on "my job" as a tech. at the hospital, or as a secretary, how important and seperate I was apart from my husband even! But I never knew the fulfillment then that I do now...never even knew what I was yet missing...I think maybe this must be where some of these well-wishing feminist, and even pseudo-conservative women must be coming from, maybe? Just plain clueless, like I was, you think? Well, we can only hope, as that scenario's better than it's alternate. So, my point I guess is that I have found from my own personal experience and relationships that working Moms are envious of my situation for the most part. I don't think the idea of another woman spending more time w/her kids than she does settles really well w/most loving Moms either, once they stop and give themselves permission to think about and question the concept. And for the record, I do manage to find time "for myself", and also plenty of opportunity to share the gospel w/others, in spite of being a "stay at home Mom". But, I've actually found that I have way more time to study theScriptures, read good books, etc., now that I stay home rather than work outside the home, and am therefore much more prepared to give an answer for my faith...and am never short of opportunities to do so either! Also, I've found that our lives cycle in seasons, w/each one passing...I do already realize that one day, should the Lord tarry, I'll probably have way more alone time than I want when my kids are grown and gone. But for now, I actually do relish their company even, imagine that! But MOST importantly, I'm able to most efficiently help my dh to disciple our dear children from my position at home w/them. And our family's strength and unified love for the Lord does speak mountains of praise to our Lord, to whom we give all the glory, on its own...without which our testimony, or leadership w/in the Church, would not be worth much.

// posted by Unknown @ 10:40 AM