Thursday, June 02, 2005
turmoils turned to triumphs...
Things have been very hard for me/us these past few weeks...seems I've been sharing alot recently, with friends, of our convictions that the Lord will always financially provide for us, through one income -Chris's- so long as we trust Him (so that I can be home with our kids, a major priority to us). However, let me clarify that I'd certainly love to have some way to help bring in $$ from home, I've not found that way for me yet (though I've some ideas). Anyways, it should be no surprise then to come into this time of testing. ;) And you'd think that by now I'd have learned to totally rest in Him. He always has provided for us, some times in spite of ourselves! So please excuse me while I encourage my soul in His grace and mercy...I need some good encouraging words to meditate on right now...I will get in the Word this evening and try to rest my weary soul.
Chris's paycheck from his boss in FL, whom *in theory*(long story) he still works for, is now very late-again! And the bills are, however, not waiting around to show up...*sighs* His last paycheck was also way late (like by 2 months) and so Chris got proactive and got himself another job here locally, selling insurance, as he's been there, done that, before and was already licensed in TN and everything...The only BIG problem with this present situation right now is that his leads are slow coming in, or low in productivity ratio, and though he's already sold some policies, it just takes time to get this type of income going, being strictly commission and residuals as it is. And so far, the $'s not coming in fast enough to cover our bills. We were even starting to think strategically about what to cut first (so we could at least pay the mortgage-and we don't have alot of extra expenses to even cut out really), so I was really beginning to get a bit anxious, andChris has of course been wrestling with the stress of this too. Seems it's always been "feast or famine" with us...
Anyways, some background; the past year and a half we've been blessed immensely financially through this new business venture Chris took on w/his boss in FL, after the year prior being one of absolute minimal living while they got it off the ground (I do mean minimal here, like we rented a little trailer for a year-which God miraculously provided for us, sharing a br w/our kids, and our stuff remaining in storage). But it all seemed to be worth it once the income started picking WAY up quickly, and I'm glad I stood behind Chris and his dream...But it's seemed now we're being blindsided all over again, as things haven't been coming together as they'd thought they would w/the business...talk about an emotional rollercoaster ride for Chris and I! Anyways, so we now have a truck payment and a house payment that's really intimidating me at the moment...I tend to have a hard time finding thebalance between denial and faith. Seems we've been in this place so many times that I just get all woozy and would rather just NOT think about it, nor talk about it. And I wonder how much can one do about it once you've prayed, and asked for help anyways? Just keep trusting...be still and know that HE is God. As I've sought Him, the Lord has given a wonderful peace in the midst of this storm. He is so good.
Well, now that I've shared some of our recent financial turmoils, let me share some recent triumphs, and testify of HIS faithful provisions w/you all! Where to start? Guess I'll just go in the order they occurred...a few significant things have happened over these past two weeks. I have been thankful for the everyday things that God has given me to do...the business has been comforting in a way.
I've been plowing and tilling the soil for our vegetable garden for days now, and making straight furrows/rows for our peas, corn, onions, peppers, tomatoes and okra, and nice hills for squash and melons, planting and praying...it's been refreshing and invigorating, and hard work which in the end shall be rewarding! But truly, I'll be busy w/lots of weeding and upkeep between nowand then. And I'm thus reminded of why I do like gardening so... And my children are learning that a great harvest takes great commitment and toil, and TIME...and the right seeds planted and watched over diligently. This has all been speaking to my spirit, reminding me that God's ways are vastly different from ours, and His mind and thoughts are way beyond me. He's promised us that He has our best interest in mind... and that He will finish the good work He's begun in us. And so, I've found rest in Him, in spite of looming financial uncertainies. As Chris pointed out to me though, when it comes right down to it, nothing and NO ONE is truly "financially secure"...so true, most of us are so dependent on that next pay check, and esp. the one after that...sobering thought, really.
A week or so ago, Nathan put on one of our fav. cd's and we were singing some fav. songs of ours together, "Not by Might", by Joel Chernoff, which is based on Zechariah 4:6, and "Be Still My Soul" which is taken from Psalm 62: 1,2,5. Through these scriptures, God began to impart faith anew to me for this situation...I shared with Nathan of how encouraged I was in God's ability and desire to provide for us in spite of seemingly dire circumstances. This has been a great learning experience for as all, as we're now seeing God do so, and talking about it, praising Him together as a family as we're seeing Him work on our behalf...providing for us in both personal and necessary ways. *smiles*
Praise, Part 1; First off, a quick bkgrd./context for the first praise! Our ds and dd had started taking horse-back riding lessons from a wonderful Christian lady at our church while we were still in FL, about 1.5yrs. ago. Well, when we moved here to TN, that was one of my special prayers/hopes before theLord...just that they could continue their lessons (which are so valuable to them/us in so many ways, w/them learning so much beyond just "riding horses"), but not w/just anyone...that He would provide a Christian instructor for them, that it would be His leading. I was sad to leave a seemingly perfect situation in FL, afraid we'd not find it again...but Chris encouraged me to *trust* the Lord in all these matters, for truly He is mindful of all our needs, and even our heart's desires. And I was also reminded me of how whenever He's EVER removed something from my life, He's ALWAYS replaced it w/something BETTER! So, I put my trust in Him.
Anyways, once we'd moved here I started looking for a Christian, private instructor for them, asked everyone we met, inquired on a local homeschool list, all to no avail...so I knew I just needed wait on God's timing, and it would come together if it was something we needed to be pursuing. Then one day, months later I mentioned our *quest* to a friend I'd made via our kids' AJAC swim-team. She referred me to a lady she knew who had given lessons once upon a time, and was just starting up again...it turns out she even goes to our church (which is also still new to us!;) Anyways, we talked, and I'm very impressed as her daughters have both won national competions for horse judging and showing, and numerous other impressive awards. But more importantly, she *loves* the Lord, and above all wishes to serve and extol Him as she teaches her students. So we started lessons w/her right away w/Nathan and Tabitha each having an hour lesson each week...she's a preciously gentle, yet firm teacher, a true God-send to us...and the situation has been better than I could have dreamed of! So, what in the world does all this have to dow/anything?! I'm getting there...
Well, obviously I've known (we've known, as Jennifer and I have since become quite good friends) that the Lord had us meet eachother, and she loves my kids, my kids love her (and her family)...so I was having a real struggle over giving up these riding lessons w/her...as it's really something that can't be an on again/off again thing according to $ (dh's up and down commissions each month). I thought God, why? would we find her, the kids just start getting to this point of being really comfortable in their "seat", progressing and gaining some proficiency, etc. only to now have to give it up? So, w/a heavy heart and resigning myself to "not my will, but thine be done" I shared w/Jenniferbefore dd's lesson of the point of our financial durress (some of which she'd already known), and that the extent thereof was going to mean that we could no longer include in our budget the $180-200/mo. that these lessons are costing us...She thought, and then suggested that our 9yos, Nathan, (who's already been cheerfully helping her around the barn, mucking out stalls and such during dd's lessons) work 4hrs./wk. in the barn, and around her farm to pay for his own weekly lesson. I thanked her profusely for the generous offer, but declined, saying that I didn't want her to imposition herself, or offer that if he really couldn't do $20 *worth* of work each mo. (and not wanting her to just offer out of sympathy, or feeling obligated). She insisted that he could pull his own weight, and that she and her dh had just prior that week been exasperatedly discussing how much they need help around the place(w/their 2 daughters off at college now, and his work so busy). So she insisted! And I said, Well, we can't b/c then Tabitha would be devestated if he kept riding and she didn't, and we just really can't even afford just her, so thanks, but it won't work.
Well, she totally caught me off guard when she said, Well, if you'd like you could help me out around here to pay for her lesson (this lady has like 15 other students too...and paid us the nice complement of saying she wouldn't do this for just anyone-it truly is a miracle!). I was/am thrilled at the idea, as we do consider having a/horse(s) one day, and what better way for me to be prepared, or know if it's truly even something for us to consider, than to learn from a pro, hands on?! And we're already fast becoming great friends, so we're all excited now that we get to hang out more, and work together, and I'm just plain giddy over how God has *totally* surprised me, and shown me what a true sister I've gained in Jennifer! And she's all excited to have us help her out around the place.
So now, we'll just go 2 hrs. earlier on the days of their lessons,twice a week, and work/learn the behind the scenes ropes of horse husbandry to pay for their lessons! Truly, God is awesome in how He's provided more than $ could anyways. And He's blessed us in this beyond my ability to even see what to ask Him for! Some trust in chariots, some trust in gold, but we trust in our God.;)
Praise, Part 2;Now, the kids are able to still have their riding lessons (and more!), but we've still got bills to be paid, and Chris's job in FL is now virtually non-existent, the pay from which was our only income just over 2 mos. ago! He found out today from some co-workers still over there that no one is even in the office now b/c they haven't been paid in a couple of weeks either. His boss did call him today though, and still seems "hopeful", but we're not holding our breath!
I'm so thankful that God gave my dh the foresight a couple of months ago to see this coming, and that he's been selling insurance here locally, as I'd shared, to buffet it. BUT, if you'll recall, so far the income's not adequate to cover our current bills (and besides the riding lessons, we've not much frivolty to cut from the budget here-not even cable). Well, dh got to thinkin' about all the equity we do already have in our house, and praying (I love it when he disappears on one of his night-time "walks" outside, "just him and God" for hours sometimes...always make me feel so secure to know my love is seeking God). And about this time we received a mort. refinance offer in the mail...Though we only just bought this place last Fall, part of what sold us on it is that we were able to purchase this old fixer-upper for $20k less than it's current tax-assessed value...yep!;) So, with some of the extra $ Chris was making from his FL job, we put alot into the house. And so Chris met w/the tax assessor week before last, and we're having the house re-appraised for even more , now that most of it's been renovated (well, we're still actually right in the middle of ALOT of it-doing it ourselves!). So Chris then got all the paperwork together and went to see the mortgage lender...We've now been pre-approved for refinancing our mortgage (which it was in our initial mort. contract that we'd have to refinance w/in 2 yrs. anyways) and will be able to thereby take out a loan large enough to PAY OFF our truck completely (thank-you Lord, as I did not want to see Chris lose his prized truck he's worked so hard for, and waited so long for...;), and our monthly mortgage pymt. will only go up about $150, but we will no longer have the $700 truck pymt.! So, we can manage that!;) We're still just waiting on the appraisal to be done now, and hoping that the house appraises for the amount we need it to...
Praise, Part 3;Chris's new job selling health and life insurance for United American has had some *drastic* ups and downs for his only being there about 2 months! But things are picking up, and he was even offered a promotion of sorts already (partly due to his prior experience, and professionalism, and partlydue undoubtedly to his awesome personality)! But he didn't feel a peace about accepting this offer...which NOW we know why...turns out there's alot of turmoil, dishonesty and just all-around bad stuff going on there at the office that I don't need to get into here, but basicly Chris doesn't want to be part of it. But long story short, Chris and another guy who's been there the longest (besides the branch manager) have been talking to UA directly about being independent agents (which Chris has done before with another company), ie; not working for a local agency. The main disadvantage to this is that they'd then be on their own completely in getting lead sources...which technically if working for an agency, they're supposed to have provided for them...but that's part of why Chris is feeling a real push to leave the agency and go independent...they're not getting any of the leads they're supposed to be (the boss guy, who's pretty crooked has just week before last put his babies in daycare and hired his wife, and is giving her all the local leads...can we say money hungry? he already makes $200k a year!, and wants more!). So, Chris and others in the office have already been having to get their own. Apparently there have been alot of complaints made concerning this mgr. to the company already, it's no wonder. I've been able to help Chris by typing up 500 labels to send out mailers to the bus. owners listed on the surrounding county's new bus. lists. We've already gotten some responses and sales from this! ANYWAYS, Chris will make more $ going independent, roughly about double on each deal of what he has been making. This will also be reflected in his residuals! So he's in the process of making this move now, but it still does seem as if alot is up in the air.
God is faithful, as always!
Chris's paycheck from his boss in FL, whom *in theory*(long story) he still works for, is now very late-again! And the bills are, however, not waiting around to show up...*sighs* His last paycheck was also way late (like by 2 months) and so Chris got proactive and got himself another job here locally, selling insurance, as he's been there, done that, before and was already licensed in TN and everything...The only BIG problem with this present situation right now is that his leads are slow coming in, or low in productivity ratio, and though he's already sold some policies, it just takes time to get this type of income going, being strictly commission and residuals as it is. And so far, the $'s not coming in fast enough to cover our bills. We were even starting to think strategically about what to cut first (so we could at least pay the mortgage-and we don't have alot of extra expenses to even cut out really), so I was really beginning to get a bit anxious, andChris has of course been wrestling with the stress of this too. Seems it's always been "feast or famine" with us...
Anyways, some background; the past year and a half we've been blessed immensely financially through this new business venture Chris took on w/his boss in FL, after the year prior being one of absolute minimal living while they got it off the ground (I do mean minimal here, like we rented a little trailer for a year-which God miraculously provided for us, sharing a br w/our kids, and our stuff remaining in storage). But it all seemed to be worth it once the income started picking WAY up quickly, and I'm glad I stood behind Chris and his dream...But it's seemed now we're being blindsided all over again, as things haven't been coming together as they'd thought they would w/the business...talk about an emotional rollercoaster ride for Chris and I! Anyways, so we now have a truck payment and a house payment that's really intimidating me at the moment...I tend to have a hard time finding thebalance between denial and faith. Seems we've been in this place so many times that I just get all woozy and would rather just NOT think about it, nor talk about it. And I wonder how much can one do about it once you've prayed, and asked for help anyways? Just keep trusting...be still and know that HE is God. As I've sought Him, the Lord has given a wonderful peace in the midst of this storm. He is so good.
Well, now that I've shared some of our recent financial turmoils, let me share some recent triumphs, and testify of HIS faithful provisions w/you all! Where to start? Guess I'll just go in the order they occurred...a few significant things have happened over these past two weeks. I have been thankful for the everyday things that God has given me to do...the business has been comforting in a way.
I've been plowing and tilling the soil for our vegetable garden for days now, and making straight furrows/rows for our peas, corn, onions, peppers, tomatoes and okra, and nice hills for squash and melons, planting and praying...it's been refreshing and invigorating, and hard work which in the end shall be rewarding! But truly, I'll be busy w/lots of weeding and upkeep between nowand then. And I'm thus reminded of why I do like gardening so... And my children are learning that a great harvest takes great commitment and toil, and TIME...and the right seeds planted and watched over diligently. This has all been speaking to my spirit, reminding me that God's ways are vastly different from ours, and His mind and thoughts are way beyond me. He's promised us that He has our best interest in mind... and that He will finish the good work He's begun in us. And so, I've found rest in Him, in spite of looming financial uncertainies. As Chris pointed out to me though, when it comes right down to it, nothing and NO ONE is truly "financially secure"...so true, most of us are so dependent on that next pay check, and esp. the one after that...sobering thought, really.
A week or so ago, Nathan put on one of our fav. cd's and we were singing some fav. songs of ours together, "Not by Might", by Joel Chernoff, which is based on Zechariah 4:6, and "Be Still My Soul" which is taken from Psalm 62: 1,2,5. Through these scriptures, God began to impart faith anew to me for this situation...I shared with Nathan of how encouraged I was in God's ability and desire to provide for us in spite of seemingly dire circumstances. This has been a great learning experience for as all, as we're now seeing God do so, and talking about it, praising Him together as a family as we're seeing Him work on our behalf...providing for us in both personal and necessary ways. *smiles*
Praise, Part 1; First off, a quick bkgrd./context for the first praise! Our ds and dd had started taking horse-back riding lessons from a wonderful Christian lady at our church while we were still in FL, about 1.5yrs. ago. Well, when we moved here to TN, that was one of my special prayers/hopes before theLord...just that they could continue their lessons (which are so valuable to them/us in so many ways, w/them learning so much beyond just "riding horses"), but not w/just anyone...that He would provide a Christian instructor for them, that it would be His leading. I was sad to leave a seemingly perfect situation in FL, afraid we'd not find it again...but Chris encouraged me to *trust* the Lord in all these matters, for truly He is mindful of all our needs, and even our heart's desires. And I was also reminded me of how whenever He's EVER removed something from my life, He's ALWAYS replaced it w/something BETTER! So, I put my trust in Him.
Anyways, once we'd moved here I started looking for a Christian, private instructor for them, asked everyone we met, inquired on a local homeschool list, all to no avail...so I knew I just needed wait on God's timing, and it would come together if it was something we needed to be pursuing. Then one day, months later I mentioned our *quest* to a friend I'd made via our kids' AJAC swim-team. She referred me to a lady she knew who had given lessons once upon a time, and was just starting up again...it turns out she even goes to our church (which is also still new to us!;) Anyways, we talked, and I'm very impressed as her daughters have both won national competions for horse judging and showing, and numerous other impressive awards. But more importantly, she *loves* the Lord, and above all wishes to serve and extol Him as she teaches her students. So we started lessons w/her right away w/Nathan and Tabitha each having an hour lesson each week...she's a preciously gentle, yet firm teacher, a true God-send to us...and the situation has been better than I could have dreamed of! So, what in the world does all this have to dow/anything?! I'm getting there...
Well, obviously I've known (we've known, as Jennifer and I have since become quite good friends) that the Lord had us meet eachother, and she loves my kids, my kids love her (and her family)...so I was having a real struggle over giving up these riding lessons w/her...as it's really something that can't be an on again/off again thing according to $ (dh's up and down commissions each month). I thought God, why? would we find her, the kids just start getting to this point of being really comfortable in their "seat", progressing and gaining some proficiency, etc. only to now have to give it up? So, w/a heavy heart and resigning myself to "not my will, but thine be done" I shared w/Jenniferbefore dd's lesson of the point of our financial durress (some of which she'd already known), and that the extent thereof was going to mean that we could no longer include in our budget the $180-200/mo. that these lessons are costing us...She thought, and then suggested that our 9yos, Nathan, (who's already been cheerfully helping her around the barn, mucking out stalls and such during dd's lessons) work 4hrs./wk. in the barn, and around her farm to pay for his own weekly lesson. I thanked her profusely for the generous offer, but declined, saying that I didn't want her to imposition herself, or offer that if he really couldn't do $20 *worth* of work each mo. (and not wanting her to just offer out of sympathy, or feeling obligated). She insisted that he could pull his own weight, and that she and her dh had just prior that week been exasperatedly discussing how much they need help around the place(w/their 2 daughters off at college now, and his work so busy). So she insisted! And I said, Well, we can't b/c then Tabitha would be devestated if he kept riding and she didn't, and we just really can't even afford just her, so thanks, but it won't work.
Well, she totally caught me off guard when she said, Well, if you'd like you could help me out around here to pay for her lesson (this lady has like 15 other students too...and paid us the nice complement of saying she wouldn't do this for just anyone-it truly is a miracle!). I was/am thrilled at the idea, as we do consider having a/horse(s) one day, and what better way for me to be prepared, or know if it's truly even something for us to consider, than to learn from a pro, hands on?! And we're already fast becoming great friends, so we're all excited now that we get to hang out more, and work together, and I'm just plain giddy over how God has *totally* surprised me, and shown me what a true sister I've gained in Jennifer! And she's all excited to have us help her out around the place.
So now, we'll just go 2 hrs. earlier on the days of their lessons,twice a week, and work/learn the behind the scenes ropes of horse husbandry to pay for their lessons! Truly, God is awesome in how He's provided more than $ could anyways. And He's blessed us in this beyond my ability to even see what to ask Him for! Some trust in chariots, some trust in gold, but we trust in our God.;)
Praise, Part 2;Now, the kids are able to still have their riding lessons (and more!), but we've still got bills to be paid, and Chris's job in FL is now virtually non-existent, the pay from which was our only income just over 2 mos. ago! He found out today from some co-workers still over there that no one is even in the office now b/c they haven't been paid in a couple of weeks either. His boss did call him today though, and still seems "hopeful", but we're not holding our breath!
I'm so thankful that God gave my dh the foresight a couple of months ago to see this coming, and that he's been selling insurance here locally, as I'd shared, to buffet it. BUT, if you'll recall, so far the income's not adequate to cover our current bills (and besides the riding lessons, we've not much frivolty to cut from the budget here-not even cable). Well, dh got to thinkin' about all the equity we do already have in our house, and praying (I love it when he disappears on one of his night-time "walks" outside, "just him and God" for hours sometimes...always make me feel so secure to know my love is seeking God). And about this time we received a mort. refinance offer in the mail...Though we only just bought this place last Fall, part of what sold us on it is that we were able to purchase this old fixer-upper for $20k less than it's current tax-assessed value...yep!;) So, with some of the extra $ Chris was making from his FL job, we put alot into the house. And so Chris met w/the tax assessor week before last, and we're having the house re-appraised for even more , now that most of it's been renovated (well, we're still actually right in the middle of ALOT of it-doing it ourselves!). So Chris then got all the paperwork together and went to see the mortgage lender...We've now been pre-approved for refinancing our mortgage (which it was in our initial mort. contract that we'd have to refinance w/in 2 yrs. anyways) and will be able to thereby take out a loan large enough to PAY OFF our truck completely (thank-you Lord, as I did not want to see Chris lose his prized truck he's worked so hard for, and waited so long for...;), and our monthly mortgage pymt. will only go up about $150, but we will no longer have the $700 truck pymt.! So, we can manage that!;) We're still just waiting on the appraisal to be done now, and hoping that the house appraises for the amount we need it to...
Praise, Part 3;Chris's new job selling health and life insurance for United American has had some *drastic* ups and downs for his only being there about 2 months! But things are picking up, and he was even offered a promotion of sorts already (partly due to his prior experience, and professionalism, and partlydue undoubtedly to his awesome personality)! But he didn't feel a peace about accepting this offer...which NOW we know why...turns out there's alot of turmoil, dishonesty and just all-around bad stuff going on there at the office that I don't need to get into here, but basicly Chris doesn't want to be part of it. But long story short, Chris and another guy who's been there the longest (besides the branch manager) have been talking to UA directly about being independent agents (which Chris has done before with another company), ie; not working for a local agency. The main disadvantage to this is that they'd then be on their own completely in getting lead sources...which technically if working for an agency, they're supposed to have provided for them...but that's part of why Chris is feeling a real push to leave the agency and go independent...they're not getting any of the leads they're supposed to be (the boss guy, who's pretty crooked has just week before last put his babies in daycare and hired his wife, and is giving her all the local leads...can we say money hungry? he already makes $200k a year!, and wants more!). So, Chris and others in the office have already been having to get their own. Apparently there have been alot of complaints made concerning this mgr. to the company already, it's no wonder. I've been able to help Chris by typing up 500 labels to send out mailers to the bus. owners listed on the surrounding county's new bus. lists. We've already gotten some responses and sales from this! ANYWAYS, Chris will make more $ going independent, roughly about double on each deal of what he has been making. This will also be reflected in his residuals! So he's in the process of making this move now, but it still does seem as if alot is up in the air.
God is faithful, as always!
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